6 Personal Finance Tips from Mr Burns of The Simpsons

When an addictive, endearing and ultimately insightful program like The Simpsons has been running for 20 plus years, it is hard to find a situation where a Simpsons quote doesn’t apply – we’ve all done it, and enjoyed the knowing smile and nod of a fellow fan who also understands the importance of learning clockwise from anti-clockwise, and knows that you don’t win friends with salad.

Of course the character we all love to hate is Monty Burns who – like every character and every episode – has something to teach. In the case of Mr Burns you can take personal finance lessons not just from how he manages his empire, but also how he depicts your worst case scenario boss, or an uncaring world so you can be adequately prepared to rock your finances.

Homer: Greetings friend, are you looking for eternal happiness? Well if so send one dollar to 742 Evergreen Terrace and you shall. Don’t delay, eternal happiness if just a dollar away.
Mr Burns: Eternal happiness for one dollar eh? Hmmm, I’d be happier with the dollar.

In this episode Homer is trying yet another of his schemes in an attempt to get out of his working class life. However, if he was to take a lesson from his frugal boss, he would see Mr Burns can teach us all to be smarter with our money by avoiding impulse purchases and get rich quick schemes. This piece of Simpsons’ wisdom can also teach us not to believe everything we hear, and instead think long and hard about how we spend our money.

Mr Burns: What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

While money can’t bring you happiness, it can bring you power because when you have enough money and healthy finances you also have choice and freedom. You may not necessarily use your money to inspire terror, but having a healthy respect for money allows you to do whatever is important to you.

Mr Burns: Smithers, for attempting to kill me I’m giving you a five per cent pay cut.

Learn from Smithers’ accused mistake and know that no matter how demeaning or hard your job is, don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Your job is a means to pay your bills and rather than looking a gift horse in the mouth and expecting justice and recognition from your boss, you need to realise that it is important to instead bide your time rather than risking your livelihood without a backup plan.

Mr Burns: Look at them Smithers – goldbrickers…layabout…slug-a-beds! Little do they realise their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.

Mr Burns is an extreme example of an uncaring boss but unfortunately there are plenty of people in positions of power who feel the same way in assuming everyone is taking advantage of them and should be working harder for their profits. Therefore, don’t take anything for granted, and don’t take your job for granted because you never know what could happen – what scheme your boss could be cooking up from his office on high.

Mr Burns: Ah, Monday morning. Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hung-over drones.

Always remember that the world goes on no matter what else is happening in your life and even if you’ve had a big weekend, you still have responsibilities. Ultimately your boss doesn’t care about your personal life, they only care that you work for them. Therefore if you need to work to pay your bills – as most of us do – make sure you come to work focussed and ready to do your best.

Mr Burns: Well that’s odd…I’ve just robbed a man of his livelihood and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what Smithers, have him beaten to a pulp.

Giving a terrifying insight into the cold-heartedness of this Simpsons’ villain, Mr Burns is also showing you that you need to be prepared for people who will take advantage of you. Just as you think the world has thrown every last piece of bad luck your way, it lines you up for another, so you need to make sure you are prepared. Have an emergency fund which will mean you can never be stripped of your livelihood even if you lose your job, and know that even if you do lose your job, and your money that it is not the end of the world.

At the end of the day you’ll have something much more important, something which means Mr Burns has to crush those beneath him to a pulp to feel like a big man – you’ll have learnt your personal finance lessons from Mr Burns and understand that money is the easiest thing in the world to get more of, and not something to be hoarded and used for evil, whether that evil is sadistically torturing workers, or filling your life with things which are just ‘stuff’.

This is a guest post from Alban.