What I see the problem being is that responsibility and fault have become linked in people’s heads. Who is at fault only rarely has anything to do with who is responsible for the situation. Fault is just about cause and effect. What caused what, when. And as I said, I do think there can be a time and a place for fault-finding. It’s good to look into our history and see, yes, mom and dad functioned this way, which lead me to make these conclusions about how the world works, which leads to me doing this. Yes, this disaster happened, and these are the ways in which I wasn’t prepared for it, and then this happened.
The other problem is that blame is such a loaded word. It has all kinds of negative personal connotations. If you’re to blame then you’re BAD. *blink* Well, no… who said that? But that’s how we treat them, that’s how they treat themselves. You’re to blame, you had it coming! Well, *shrug* maybe or maybe not. Maybe we’re all just undereducated. You can’t fix a problem you don’t know is there, and really sometimes it takes a disaster before people know there’s a problem. There’s nothing WRONG with that, people make mistakes, but it’s still your fault; you’re still to blame. They shouldn’t be judged harshly for not knowing. But they are, and we do, and they do, and so they’re so afraid of the word that they run from the situation, they run from the knowledge, and they run from the responsibility because THEY THINK THAT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY MEANS ACCEPTING BLAME and accepting blame means they’re bad people. You see how it gets all twisted? It’s not the same thing! Responsibility != Blame != Evil incarnate. And that’s the idea we need to change as much as anything. I have no idea where it came from. Our grandparents surely weren’t like that, they were such a pragmatic folk…

Seriously, if I was so harsh, we wouldn’t have over 90% of people struggling, in debt.

I have tried and I keep trying but its very small steps, but at the end of the day, I need to worry about my own situation because in the end it will all fall back on me, if I don’t take control (of my situation, for the future).

@Jeff Learning about finances is apart of growing up but unfortunately not everybody grows up. Some people will have the same bad habits their whole life.

@Jasmin I agree that blaming others is just to away to avoid taking responsibility for your actions. Life will not always work out as you envisioned it to. People that want to become truly successful in life will adapt to any and every situation, not complain about it.

@Tom Wow you are pretty harsh with your thoughts on your parents’ financial habits. Have you tried talking to them in a non-judgmental manner? or maybe you could get them to read some personal finance books/blogs that will open their eyes.

@richerandslimmer That’s a pretty extreme way to get your point across lol. Yes despite the murder reference I agree that at the end of the day each individual is responsible for their own actions.

That said, our parents have a big influence on how we view the world; if your mother or father doesn’t encourage investing (or, like my mother, actively discourages it), you’ll have a harder time getting control of your finances and securing your future. That’s not enough to absolve you of all responsibility, though; we all have our own problems, and you have to shoulder yours and keep on moving along.