Comments on: It’s Not My Fault… http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/ Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:02:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Studenomist http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1412 Studenomist Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:16:43 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1412 @Jasmin Thank you for sharing your honest opinion, I really do appreciate it. I look forward to reading some of the interesting debates you will get yourself into around Studenomics! I hope you do start your own personal finance blog because you could definitely spark some heated debates. @Jasmin Thank you for sharing your honest opinion, I really do appreciate it. I look forward to reading some of the interesting debates you will get yourself into around Studenomics! I hope you do start your own personal finance blog because you could definitely spark some heated debates.

]]> By: Jasmin http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1411 Jasmin Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:17:16 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1411 *grin* Not a problem. You just hit one of my reflexive rant-points, since I saw you make that very mistake in your entry. Using blame and responsibility interchangeably, and it makes me sad. This may end up being the first entry in my own PF blog that I keep trying to convince myself to make. Thank you for always having such insightful entries, and yes, no worries, you're in my feedreader. :-) Flowers... @};- Jasmin *grin* Not a problem. You just hit one of my reflexive rant-points, since I saw you make that very mistake in your entry. Using blame and responsibility interchangeably, and it makes me sad. This may end up being the first entry in my own PF blog that I keep trying to convince myself to make.
Thank you for always having such insightful entries, and yes, no worries, you’re in my feedreader. :-)
Flowers… @};-
Jasmin

]]> By: Studenomist http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1406 Studenomist Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:31:04 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1406 @Jasmin Sorry for getting the wrong idea from your original comment. Both comments are excellent with some very good points. Thank you for stopping by Studenomics and taking the time to share your thoughts. I hope that you become a regular here at Studenomics! @Jasmin Sorry for getting the wrong idea from your original comment. Both comments are excellent with some very good points. Thank you for stopping by Studenomics and taking the time to share your thoughts. I hope that you become a regular here at Studenomics!

]]> By: Jasmin http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1402 Jasmin Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:42:18 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1402 *smile* It wasn't exactly what I tried to say, and also thank you. What I see the problem being is that responsibility and fault have become linked in people's heads. Who is at fault only rarely has anything to do with who is responsible for the situation. Fault is just about cause and effect. What caused what, when. And as I said, I do think there can be a time and a place for fault-finding. It's good to look into our history and see, yes, mom and dad functioned this way, which lead me to make these conclusions about how the world works, which leads to me doing this. Yes, this disaster happened, and these are the ways in which I wasn't prepared for it, and then this happened. The other problem is that blame is such a loaded word. It has all kinds of negative personal connotations. If you're to blame then you're BAD. *blink* Well, no... who said that? But that's how we treat them, that's how they treat themselves. You're to blame, you had it coming! Well, *shrug* maybe or maybe not. Maybe we're all just undereducated. You can't fix a problem you don't know is there, and really sometimes it takes a disaster before people know there's a problem. There's nothing WRONG with that, people make mistakes, but it's still your fault; you're still to blame. They shouldn't be judged harshly for not knowing. But they are, and we do, and they do, and so they're so afraid of the word that they run from the situation, they run from the knowledge, and they run from the responsibility because THEY THINK THAT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY MEANS ACCEPTING BLAME and accepting blame means they're bad people. You see how it gets all twisted? It's not the same thing! Responsibility != Blame != Evil incarnate. And that's the idea we need to change as much as anything. I have no idea where it came from. Our grandparents surely weren't like that, they were such a pragmatic folk... Anyway, I hope I clarified myself a bit. :-) Flowers... @};- Jasmin *smile* It wasn’t exactly what I tried to say, and also thank you.
What I see the problem being is that responsibility and fault have become linked in people’s heads. Who is at fault only rarely has anything to do with who is responsible for the situation. Fault is just about cause and effect. What caused what, when. And as I said, I do think there can be a time and a place for fault-finding. It’s good to look into our history and see, yes, mom and dad functioned this way, which lead me to make these conclusions about how the world works, which leads to me doing this. Yes, this disaster happened, and these are the ways in which I wasn’t prepared for it, and then this happened.
The other problem is that blame is such a loaded word. It has all kinds of negative personal connotations. If you’re to blame then you’re BAD. *blink* Well, no… who said that? But that’s how we treat them, that’s how they treat themselves. You’re to blame, you had it coming! Well, *shrug* maybe or maybe not. Maybe we’re all just undereducated. You can’t fix a problem you don’t know is there, and really sometimes it takes a disaster before people know there’s a problem. There’s nothing WRONG with that, people make mistakes, but it’s still your fault; you’re still to blame. They shouldn’t be judged harshly for not knowing. But they are, and we do, and they do, and so they’re so afraid of the word that they run from the situation, they run from the knowledge, and they run from the responsibility because THEY THINK THAT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY MEANS ACCEPTING BLAME and accepting blame means they’re bad people. You see how it gets all twisted? It’s not the same thing! Responsibility != Blame != Evil incarnate. And that’s the idea we need to change as much as anything. I have no idea where it came from. Our grandparents surely weren’t like that, they were such a pragmatic folk…
Anyway, I hope I clarified myself a bit. :-)
Flowers… @};-
Jasmin

]]> By: tom http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1397 tom Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:06:08 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1397 Is it really harsh, or the truth they can't take? Instead they choose to live in an illusion. Seriously, if I was so harsh, we wouldn't have over 90% of people struggling, in debt. I have tried and I keep trying but its very small steps, but at the end of the day, I need to worry about my own situation because in the end it will all fall back on me, if I don't take control (of my situation, for the future). Is it really harsh, or the truth they can’t take? Instead they choose to live in an illusion.

Seriously, if I was so harsh, we wouldn’t have over 90% of people struggling, in debt.

I have tried and I keep trying but its very small steps, but at the end of the day, I need to worry about my own situation because in the end it will all fall back on me, if I don’t take control (of my situation, for the future).

]]> By: Studenomist http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1391 Studenomist Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:58:39 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1391 @Steve It's honestly a shock to me as to why the education system is not teaching the young people about personal finances at an early age. In my high school we had to take religion, French, and career studies but nothing about personal finance. @Jeff Learning about finances is apart of growing up but unfortunately not everybody grows up. Some people will have the same bad habits their whole life. @Jasmin I agree that blaming others is just to away to avoid taking responsibility for your actions. Life will not always work out as you envisioned it to. People that want to become truly successful in life will adapt to any and every situation, not complain about it. @Tom Wow you are pretty harsh with your thoughts on your parents' financial habits. Have you tried talking to them in a non-judgmental manner? or maybe you could get them to read some personal finance books/blogs that will open their eyes. @richerandslimmer That's a pretty extreme way to get your point across lol. Yes despite the murder reference I agree that at the end of the day each individual is responsible for their own actions. @Steve It’s honestly a shock to me as to why the education system is not teaching the young people about personal finances at an early age. In my high school we had to take religion, French, and career studies but nothing about personal finance.

@Jeff Learning about finances is apart of growing up but unfortunately not everybody grows up. Some people will have the same bad habits their whole life.

@Jasmin I agree that blaming others is just to away to avoid taking responsibility for your actions. Life will not always work out as you envisioned it to. People that want to become truly successful in life will adapt to any and every situation, not complain about it.

@Tom Wow you are pretty harsh with your thoughts on your parents’ financial habits. Have you tried talking to them in a non-judgmental manner? or maybe you could get them to read some personal finance books/blogs that will open their eyes.

@richerandslimmer That’s a pretty extreme way to get your point across lol. Yes despite the murder reference I agree that at the end of the day each individual is responsible for their own actions.

]]> By: richerandslimmer.com http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1389 richerandslimmer.com Wed, 11 Feb 2009 09:40:29 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1389 Let's take an extreme example of viewpoint number 1 - should children of murderers be pardoned from killing because they learned it from their parents? No! So, even though our parents have a huge influence on us, I think we are ultimately responsible for what we do, not them. Let’s take an extreme example of viewpoint number 1 – should children of murderers be pardoned from killing because they learned it from their parents? No! So, even though our parents have a huge influence on us, I think we are ultimately responsible for what we do, not them.

]]> By: tom http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1388 tom Wed, 11 Feb 2009 05:08:41 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1388 You been reading too much of my blog, just kidding. I rave about these points a lot. Responsibility and how people expect others to do shit for them and they blame them when things go wrong. Also, by expecting others to do things for them, they give up their power. Parents, yes they are morons with managing money and am I glad I am realizing this now. Seriously, my parents use their refinanced mortgage as an ATM machine because "there is no other way of getting things done" These things being renovations. Are you kidding me? You been reading too much of my blog, just kidding.

I rave about these points a lot.

Responsibility and how people expect others to do shit for them and they blame them when things go wrong. Also, by expecting others to do things for them, they give up their power.

Parents, yes they are morons with managing money and am I glad I am realizing this now.

Seriously, my parents use their refinanced mortgage as an ATM machine because “there is no other way of getting things done”
These things being renovations.

Are you kidding me?

]]> By: Jasmin http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1386 Jasmin Wed, 11 Feb 2009 02:05:02 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1386 The problem only is if you use the blame to escape responsibility. I think there is use in searching your history, and answering the question "why?". Fault != responsibility, though a lot of people forget that. No, maybe it isn't your fault. For instance, hypothetically, "It isn't my fault, I had cancer and couldn't get decent insurance and am now in $40k of debt." Well, no, now it isn't your fault, but you're still stuck with it, for right or wrong. There's a lot of things that are at fault for why I'm in as much debt as I am, myself and my bad choices among them, but it doesn't matter. Nobody's going to pick up the pieces but me. Flowers... @};- Jasmin The problem only is if you use the blame to escape responsibility. I think there is use in searching your history, and answering the question “why?”. Fault != responsibility, though a lot of people forget that. No, maybe it isn’t your fault. For instance, hypothetically, “It isn’t my fault, I had cancer and couldn’t get decent insurance and am now in $40k of debt.” Well, no, now it isn’t your fault, but you’re still stuck with it, for right or wrong. There’s a lot of things that are at fault for why I’m in as much debt as I am, myself and my bad choices among them, but it doesn’t matter. Nobody’s going to pick up the pieces but me.
Flowers… @};-
Jasmin

]]> By: Jeff@StretchyDollar http://studenomics.com/personal-finance/its-not-my-fault/comment-page-1/#comment-1385 Jeff@StretchyDollar Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:22:49 +0000 http://studenomics.com/?p=568#comment-1385 (sorry - followup to the above post - I spaced. I wanted to write "learning about finances" not learning about "a family" on the second line - don't know what happened there.) (sorry – followup to the above post – I spaced. I wanted to write “learning about finances” not learning about “a family” on the second line – don’t know what happened there.)

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