Comments on: Why Parent’s Shouldn’t Pay For Their Kids’ College Education

By: Lauren

Lauren — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:51:39 +0000

My parents paid for my college all 4 years because they didn’t want me to be in the same position as them (still paying off loans 20+ yrs later). Even when my dad lost his job and I had to get a loan, they are paying my loan back (7,000 for 2 semesters is not bad). However, they checked my grades and my bank statements, and I had to get a job after my first year. I don’t know where I would be if my parent didn’t pay for school because almost a year later and I just got my first full time job. I’ve been working a job that does nothing with my degree (which is a BS in conservation biology). I believe that the should parents pay for college depends on the family and it’s not a “one size fits all” like someone mentions earlier.

Please excuse any misspelled words as I am on my phone

By: Donna Richmond

Donna Richmond — Fri, 16 Mar 2012 04:37:15 +0000

I think kids should pay for their own college bills, My husband and I raised 3 children and paid for all 3 of them to start college. They all 3 flunked out the first or second year. It was a big waste! We paid out alot of $ which we should have used toward our retirement. Only one child finished many years later in her 30′s with a BS degree, which she did on her own with her fiancee. She thought we should pay for her school, but she flunked many classes before she finally buckled down and finished with their $. I also think kids should get a job from 15-16 years on and save at least 25% toward for school after high school. It isn’t a parents responcibility to pay for their education after high school. Only to be taught $ doesn’t grow on trees and you have to earn what you get in life for material things.

By: nic

nic — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 04:31:41 +0000

Karen- kudos to you for thinking of your son’s future and helping him finish his education. I am on the other end of your example. I started with a 2 year diploma and paid my way to finish a degree (I’m almost 35 and just a few days away from completing my last course). It did not help that I’m an immigrant and English is not my first language. As a result, it took me 18 years to get to where I am now.

By: karen

karen — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 15:53:57 +0000

I could not disagree with this article more. 30 years ago, you could “work your way through college” without incurring debt, but those days are over. Tuition has gone up exponentially and salaries have stagnated. Parents DO have an obligation to help their children get launched into adulthood. If you care more about retiring 5 years earlier than sparing your children 20 years of slavery to Sallie Mae, then you shouldn’t have had kids. It isn’t your children’s fault that you didn’t plan better. I just can’t believe how selfish some parents are. My son got straight A’s all through high school and received a lot of scholarship money. He does work study as well, but it was still necessary for me to get a second job so that he can graduate without owing anything, and I am happy to do it. I would do anything for my child. That’s called LOVE.

By: rei

rei — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:48:00 +0000

I have a question to all you guys/girls who have paid/are paying for college on your own. What majors were you? I’m an engineering major and I would have a mental breakdown if I had to work my way through school. Of course, maybe I’m just not that smart. My tuition/books are covered through loans/scholarships, but I get help from my dad for living expenses(I live at home). The only work I do is research which doesn’t pay that much.

I’ve known a few engineering students who tried to work their way through school, but ended up withdrawing or having to change majors because it was too much. Were any hardcore science majors/engineers able to tough it out?

By: jane

jane — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 15:34:04 +0000

I will refuse to pay my kids’ college bills because I will still be paying my own college loans. I don’t believe college is the one size fits all band-aid. My husband makes 50,000 a year as a handyman. He has no school debt! Meanwhile, I’m struggling to find a job as a teacher that pays 40,000 a year and I have $115,000 in student loans. So, is college really the right financial choice? I’d have to say not for everyone. If I had known that then, I would have at least taken a year after high school to figure my life out. Attending college “undecided” is a colossal mistake. Only people who have a chosen career know whether or not they need to attend college.
I’d also like to add that my first year of college, I screwed up, but when I started footing the bill, I shaped up. I’m proud of the fact that I didn’t make my mom pay for my college because she doesn’t even have enough money to retire. I’d be angry if my children were selfish enough to dip into my retirement fund for their college.
College is a career decision made by adults who should be responsible for the costs and not just the benefits.
I can get married, have an abortion, vote, go to war, and smoke cigarettes at 18. Why shouldn’t I be responsible for both the benefits and costs of my career decision to attend college?

By: Joyce

Joyce — Sun, 01 May 2011 02:28:13 +0000

Free rides easily defeat motivation. That’s for just about anything in life.
My husband can attest to that, he started messing around in college and actually felt guilty about wasting his parent’s money and asked them to stop paying. It worked; he finished with his masters and a bit of debt which we paid off during our first year of marriage.

We are very middle class, never a lot of money. I chose to work part time while my children were young therefore money wasn’t plentiful. Now that I work full time our income is too high for her to receive aid-we’re starting to save more heavily for retirement. Only 2,500.00 was saved for college. She is commuting to a nearby state university daily and lives at home and works 20 hours a week, more during the summer. We pay all of her expenses, car, cellphone, room and board, books, any school fees (not tuition) insurance, a monthly allowance for gas and food during the school year but she pays for personal expenses (fun,, etc) and most importantly, her tuition . This makes it easy, other than some personal money, she only has to concentrate on tuition. This is incentive for her to apply for scholarships, which she has, and has received some, and it keeps things simple. She easily earns a good portion of her tuition by working. The rest, scholarships have taken care of. We are fortunate to live near enough to a state university so she can live at home. Even though she needs a car to commute, it’s a great savings compared to living away from home.

She’s just finishing her sophomore year, on the Provost (high honors) Dean’s list…again, and a great kid. My son will start college in a year, we plan on doing the same with him, he is fine with that. That means another car unfortunately, but it’s still a savings.

The plan is for both of the kids not to be saddled with debt after school, or very little. If they both do a good job, work hard, and have debt….mom and dad may help relieve them of some or most of it. I’m just keeping that a secret for now,.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 23:29:33 +0000

Hello all,
I am about to make the big jump from a community college to a private school but I have reached that terrible fork in the road to a B.A., financing it. I have worked full time at a dental office and attended night classes to get through my A.A. My mother lost her job, as did my father, and both are struggling financially. My boyfriend and I actually moved in to their basement and pay $500.00/month and so they can keep their house. Due to my mother’s large incentive (she worked for this insurance company for 33 years) their taxes reflect an income that is about $60,000 less a year and since I am under 24 (22) and not married I must include my parents on my fafsa. I am only being offered a $2500 loan for night classes, which does not even cover 1/6 th of the cost of tuition, and am fully aware that there is no way for me to afford to pay the out of pocket cost for tuition. Working full-time and taking night classes has had a toll on me. If it was an extremely bad day at work/surgery went late or if I couldn’t afford the gas (its a 25 min commute), I skipped class. I have managed to keep a 3.4 g.p.a but I am scared about how well I will perform when I start at a university as opposed to a community college. How can I ask my parents to help when they are not able to help themselves? Where can I turn to get help or should I just forget about going after a B.A. and be satisified with my A.A.? I realize that this post is a little off topic but any ideas or suggestions would be much appreciated!

By: Rose

Rose — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 13:24:18 +0000

Actually teaching responsibility started with the boys when they were young. They had to pick up their toys before nap time. They were reminded once. If they did not do it then when they were taking their nap, I did it and put the toys in the basement. When they asked for their toys I said I guess mom and dad had given them toys they were not old enough for yet. If they were old enough for those toys then they would have taken care of them. I made them think about it. Was mom and dad wrong and gave us toys too young or was I bad. The responsiblity thing started with the boys very young. Even before they were one years old. As soon as they could walk they were taught they toys went into the toybox before nap time. Even in Jr high or high school when they did something they were not suppose to do they would call me at work from school to tell me about it. The boys did not get in trouble for doing wrong they would get in trouble for not telling us about it and then making a decision about how to make the wrong right. I told them every one makes wrong decisions in their life but you know when it was wrong and you do everything to make it right. Even in high school I never told them they could not go to a party. They made a decision and when they could not drive I took them. They always had a dime in their pocket to call if they needed to come home. Several times they would call if drugs or alcohol was used at the party. It was their decision to go or to participate not mine. Every privledge has a responsibility. In high school they had to have a 3.5 also but also had 4 point or close to it. If their grades were good then they could play football, basketball, tennis and golf which they both loved. Both boys are grown and responsible men. One is a doctor and one is a guitar player and is part owner of a recording business where they also write music. I don’t know how parents do when they both have to work full time.

By: nick

nick — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 12:32:27 +0000

Hey MD –
I just want to share my side of the story.

I was raised from a different country by my grandparents. My single mom eventually brought me to N.America when I turned 18; she has the same belief like you – kids should pay for their own education and support themselves when they turn 18.

Though I did not agree with her thinking, I did not have a choice. I applied for student load and had worked part time while attending engineering at uni. Eventually, I lost steam due to time commitments at school and part time job…I had to drop out of school.

Since I dropped out, I had to pay back my student loan (it took me a few years). At this time, I was already living on my own. The trauma of failing again had made me take the longer route – I went to tech school and now pursuing a degree (on top of working full time and supporting a young family). Yes, I am still 1 semester away from getting an undergraduate (taking it part time). By the time I reach my dream of completing uni, I will be in my mid 30s.

While I did not expect my mother to pay for my education, what I wanted was acknowledgment that paying for my own education and supporting myself (including paying for rent) is a very tall order for a 1st gen immigrant. Looking back, it is amazing how a simple thinking about education can financially set back a person SIGNIFICANTLY. By no means I have deviated from my goal of getting post-secondary education but the circumstances and forces that are out of my hand seem to rob me of this dream.

To close my point, I do not agree with you. I think parents should help with their kids education to the best they can. Whether they pay for 4 years, 1 year or just provide moral support, IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE. With proper parenting, kids will appreciate the value of money and the meaning of love.

So to the folks out there who has read this up to this point, please consider what I just said because your kid could experience the same fate like me because of your thinking.

Lastly, in the corporate world, how many successful executives out there got help from their parents to get them through post-secondary vs none?

cheers