I’m going to prove to you why you should never listen to your family when pursuing a new goal. It’s not what you might think either.
My family is very traditional. I have amazing parents and the best brothers. Most of us have a decent family (family doesn’t have to mean in the traditional sense) or we have some pretty cool close friends. That’s what makes life worth living. I totally get that.
However, family and business don’t mix well together. We already know that. There’s another thing that doesn’t mix well.
What is it?
Family and chasing new goals/setting plans for the future.
Why should you never listen to your family when pursuing goals?
Your family doesn’t want to see you get hurt or they don’t want to hurt you.
Long story short is that your family/friends will give you input in two directions. Your family will either:
- Discourage you from taking on any risks because they don’t want to see you get hurt (emotionally, physically, or both).
- They’ll tell you that you’re the best so that they don’t hurt you, thus setting you up for failure if you’re really not any good.
You already know that I’m very realistic about things around here. I would never give you delusional advice about quitting your job to “follow your passions.” That’s a bunch of crap. I want you to be aware of your situation at all times. I bring sobriety to intoxicated dreaming!
You also know by now how important pain is in development. You need to fail. You need to fail often. I believe in always reaching for the stars. You can’t always go for the guaranteed thing. You have to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time.
You might remember the classic quote from Joshua Waitzkin that I shared a while back:
“In my experience, successful people shoot for the stars, put their hearts on the line in every battle…In the long run, painful losses may prove much more valuable than wins…Of course, the real challenge is to stay in range of this long-term perspective when you are under fire and hurting in the middle of the war. This, maybe our biggest hurdle, is at the core of the art of learning.”
This is my new life motto. You should at least try to read this once a day. It’s okay to get hurt and fail. I give you permission.
Time to answer the big question…
So who can you trust when seeking legit feedback on your goals?
There are certain types of characters that you can get legit feedback from. Your girlfriend, brother, or mother won’t give this to you. They’re either going to tell you that you’re the best or that you shouldn’t do it.
Who do you turn to for LEGIT feedback?
- Someone that has no vested interest in your success or failure. This could be a casual friend or someone that simply barely knows you. Ask them what they think. Ask them for advice. Ask them how they got to where they are. Don’t be afraid to ask tons of questions.
- A mentor. I believe that everyone should find a mentor and be a mentor. I have a mentor for different areas of my life (wrestling, work, blogging, training, dating, and just general life stuff). Your mentor will tell you what’s best. You won’t always agree, but you should always listen.
- Your critics. Stop posting stupid and useless motivational quotes about how much you despise “haters.” Critics rock and they perform an amazing service. If it wasn’t for critics, we would all think that we’re the best at being the best. I’m not the best. You’re not the best. We need to hear the truth sometimes.
- Competitors. What do your competitors have to say? I’m not saying that you take their advice at face value, but you should listen to what they have to say and how they say it.
That’s who you can trust with legit feedback. Please don’t even bother asking your parents or siblings or friends about how you did. Get real feedback. Take the risk of being offended. Then get over it.
You should never consult your family about a new goal. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t listen to your parents in general because your family knows what’s best for you. All I’m saying is that you don’t listen to family or friends when trying a new venture.
Ask the readers: I would leave to hear some stories from you guys on how you went against what your family/friends suggested you do. How did everything turn out? How did they react?
Join The Dream Catchers Series:
The you’re-stupid system for chasing goals.
The cure for boredom.
How-to destroy self-doubt when trying something new.
Why you need to show the middle finger to dream-crushers.
Why it’s insane to not even try chasing a passion.
The $1k rule for chasing dreams.
How-to make a lifestyle change without going homeless.
How one dude sold his business for millions.
The YES! Test for quitting your job.