How to get out of the friend zone

“I like you as a friend.”

This statement will ruin your finances right now. This statement will also naturally ruin your love life.

I firmly believe that college students, young professionals, and 20-somethings are damaging their bank accounts on a daily basis by living life in the friend zone.

What’s the friend zone? According to Wikipedia:

“In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person.”

We talk about financial freedom on Studenomics. We’ve covered some deep details. We’ve also disccused the economics of your love life because the reality is that you’re going to fall in love in your 20s. Most personal finance authors are married and boring. I’m neither of those things.

I’m fairly realistic. Odds are that we’re all going to get married one day. I’m willing to accept that. Until we get there, we need to get a hold of our finances so that we can reach our goals.

If you’re single, you’ve likely dealt with being in the friend zone.

You know how the story goes. You tell a girl you like her after waiting forever. She responds with, “I like you as a friend.” Ouch!

Why are you in the friend zone?

  • Time.
  • You followed the rules.
  • You didn’t change anything about yourself.
  • You’re not a closer. You’re a poser.
  • General fear.
  • Comfort zone.
  • Lack of audacity.
  • Fear of failure.
  • You listened to the wrong people.

You’re here because you want a different life. I’m not trying to put you down for your past mistakes. I want to help you get out of debt while you simultaneously blast out of the friend zone.

Why will the friend zone ruin your finances?

Escape The Friend Zone

There are actually a million reasons (I counted) for why living life in the friend zone will ruin your finances. The obvious reason is that you’re love sick and mad at the world.

The main reasons are:

  • You have no focus.
  • You’re not confident.
  • You don’t go after what you want.
  • You’re a backup plan.
  • You can’t sell yourself.
  • You spend your money foolishly because you’re angry.
  • You lose out on opportunities to make big money because you’re afraid of launching.

Why would you want to shoot yourself in the foot with your own gun?

How do you get out of the friend zone?

The friend zone is just like debt. You need to avoid it from the start. Once you get in, you’re stuck for a LONG time. From there, everything could get even worse if you don’t have a plan. Since I don’t want to make you feel any worse, let’s move on.

The steps for getting out of the friend zone go like:

  1. Avoid the friend zone.
  2. Have a game plan.
  3. Let your intentions be known.
  4. Ruthlessly go after what you want (career, love, business, and goals).
  5. Be bold.
  6. Risk failure.
  7. Learn from your failures and move on.
  8. Ignore all distractions.

If you can’t ask out the person you’re crazy about, how do you plan on paying off debt or finding a freelancing client?

Do you think you can be financially free by 30 if you can’t even get a date?

You need to break from the friend zone of life. You need to become known as the person that launches. You can’t be afraid of launching because the world will pass you by and you’re going to be angry for letting this happen.

Are you ready to launch?

I’m calling you out. Are you going to keep on complaining or will you follow up on your goals? Your move. I want you to check out my book below. Failure to Launch No More has 18 five star reviews and the readers are raving. Don’t believe me? Check out the page on Amazon to see some of the reviews.

Failure to launch no more

“If you can embrace the idea that your success and happiness are tied up in defeating the fear that’s holding you back, you’re 90 percent of the way to where you need to go, because no, we’re not kids, and no, this is not a bike.” — Seth Godin

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How to sell when nobody likes you

Likeability and trust. Those two factors have been considered the backbone of salesmanship for as long as I can remember. And for good reason – they’ve proven to increase conversions time and time again.

Think about it, if you were in the market for a TV and found two that were similarly spec’d and priced, would you buy from someone who you perceived to be friendly and helpful, or someone who came across as a pushy douchebag? My guess is that you’d go with the former.

Then there’s trust – also a very valuable asset. How many times have you gone to see a movie based on your friends’ recommendations? Plenty, I bet.

But on the flip-side, how many movies have you avoided like the plague just because a trusted friend told you it was garbage? Also plenty, would be my guess.

But the secret I’m about to share with you today can help you bypass likeability and trust as selling mechanisms.

Why?

Because trust and likeability take time to cultivate, and sometimes you just need to sell your damn product or service as quickly as possible. Sometimes you just need to walk in the shoes of a hustler.

Now obviously, if you can manage to get some likeability and trust along the way and combine it with the secret I’m about to share, it will only help. But it’s not necessary.

So what is this secret?

Well get out a piece of paper and write down the following sentence at least 5 times, so it sinks in:

If you offer enough value, a sale can always be made.

And when I say always, I really do mean 100% of the time – as if it were a law of the universe (I happen to think that it is, actually.)

This rule isn’t some theoretical mumbo jumbo I pulled out of my ass either. This rule has been put to the test plenty of times, and it has never failed me. Before I reveal how I use this in the real world, allow me to use a theoretical example to help demonstrate its power.

Let’s say I own a gourmet bakery where a delicious hand-made croissant sells for $10. Why ten bucks for a single pastry? Because it’s a secret recipe handed down to me over three generations and quite frankly, they’re simply delicious.

But the important question is, how likely are you to buy?

Well if you’re a pastry connoisseur, or just plain curious, then maybe you might. But my guess is that the majority would perceive my croissant as overpriced, which means my sales would be low.

To improve the situation, what would 99.9% of businesses do?

Yup, lower the price. And this would be foolish. I truly believe that lowering one’s price should be the very last option. Never lower your price – it shows that you’re not confident in what you’re worth. Instead, the better idea is to offer more value.

So instead of one croissant, what if you got three for ten bucks? Now how likely are you to buy this delicious treat? My bet is that most of you would – especially since you can grab two other friends and just pitch in for the deal

But let’s take it a step further.

What if ten bucks got you three hand-made croissants, a cup of the finest latte in town, and a copy of my recipe book that contained 20 easy to bake desserts you could toss together in under an hour. And let’s say this book by itself sold for $14.99 on Amazon.

Now I don’t know about you, but as someone who hardly does any baking but absolutely loves coffee and pastry, this deal sounds way too good to pass up. There is so much value being offered it’s like, “how can I not?!”

And would it matter if my service was crap and I was rude to customers from time to time? Hardly. Most people will put up with a lot of shit just to get their hands on a great deal.

If you don’t believe me, hit up a Wal-Mart during Black Friday or Boxing Day.

Now you might be saying to yourself, “Yeah but this is just like price adjustment in reverse. So why not just lower the price of the single croissant?”

Actually, it’s not.

When you’re the one that controls the production and supply, it’s much more profitable to offer more value than it is to lower the price. Honestly, how much do you think the raw materials for a croissant costs a bakery that mass produces them on the daily? Under a dollar for sure.

Let’s pull a rough estimate out of our collective behinds and say it costs 60 cents per pastry. Another 90 cents for the cup of coffee because it’s high quality.

So we’re at (0.6×3) + 0.9 = $2.7

Now what about that book? Well as an independent author I know that the raw printing costs for a book like this would be about $1 (Martin will back up on this, he also knows the numbers quite well). And because mass quantities were delivered in one go, let’s add an additional $0.2 for shipping.

So we are sitting at $3.9 of total cost. If we’re charging $10, then that’s a significant profit margin wouldn’t you say? It’s definitely better than 99% of the pitches you see on Shark Tank.

The best part about increasing value, is that to the customer it feels like a total steal (it definitely is) and to a business, it’s a profitable combo and a whole new offer. A total win-win.

I realized the power of this rule many years ago when I used to run a fitness blog called FitJerk.com (Martin was an avid reader of the site, actually.)

So what was it about? Well basically, I remained anonymous and offered fitness advice while simultaneously insulting and trolling everyone I came in contact with; I called my subscribers AFL’s (Average Fat Losers), my digital products were filled with profanity and sexual innuendos, and my supplement reviews held nothing back – if something sucked, I’d say so.

Under the banner of FitJerk.com, I stretched the limits of free speech to its absolute limits.

I was not only hated by many, but plenty of bloggers refused to work with me because they were afraid of what would happen to their reputation due to sheer association.

What a bunch of softies!

But you know what? I still made money. People still bought my stuff, signed up for my trainings, and hired me to coach them personally.

Why?

Because I stacked on a load of value and bonuses. I literally made it so that if they refused my offer, it would be the most idiotic decision they would ever make. And this is what you need to do with your business. To help you going, I have an assignment that will help get you started…

Your Homework (do this only if you want to make more money)…

If you’re not selling your product or service at a rate that you want, I want you to take a second and re-visit your current offer. Then in the comment section below, write down the 3 ways in which you will dramatically increase the value you provide. It could be by offering bonuses (such as a cookbook, a supplement and consultation for a fitness product you sell) or anything else that relates. Just remember the golden rule: you are not allowed to touch the price. 

If you do this little exercise and implement the changes, I can guarantee that your sales will practically increase overnight. You want the offer to sound so good, that the price becomes an afterthought.

Good luck, and here’s to some extra cash in your pocket.

About The Author:

How to sell

Sahil M. is the founder of Hardcore Training Solutions, and coaches both gymnastics and powerlifting.

In 2012 he attained a National Record in the deadlift, and has produced record holders and National Champions of his own in his respective sports.

Sahil is also the author of Flawless Fitness and The Cheer Diet. If you’d like to work with him personally, click here to fill out an application and schedule a Free consultation (no obligations or strings attached).

If he feels that you’re a good fit, he’ll take you on as a client, and get you in the best shape of your life.

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“Times are tough man. I have to work two jobs. I don’t feel like doing much by the time I get home.”

My friend stressed to me as I went to visit his new place.

This scenario is very typical. Many of my friends work multiple jobs and struggle to keep up with the bills. Those who aren’t struggling either live at home or don’t have many ambitious goals.

What happened to all of the fun that we were supposed to be having in our 20s? We thought we would be chilling by the beach, signing deals at a strip club, or living like kings.

Life’s not what any of us expected it to be in our 20s.

I’m fortunate enough to not be broke, but I would definitely like to have more money saved up. I’m not where I fully want to be. Actually, I don’t even know where I expected to be at this age. When I went to get my undergraduate in business, just like any other student, I thought that the world was going to be mine. I thought I would find a job as a business man and ride the bus to work everyday.

Then I realized that I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to commute an hour to a job that I hated just so I could tell people I worked in finance. I started Studenomics and began living a life filled with adventure.

Many of my friends are shockingly broke in their 20s. The worst part is that they give me unsolicited advice.

What kind of advice do they give me?

  • I should settle down.
  • I should get a real job.
  • I need to stop with the freelancing.
  • I should work at their company.

The advice just pours in. It’s easy to give advice because you don’t look within yourself to see what’s wrong. You point the finger at others. You feel better about yourself. You tell someone else how to live life because your life sucks.

I hate “Guru Syndrome.” I don’t tell anyone how to live life if they don’t ask. If you want my help, I’m here. You can read through my archives or pay me for my time. I don’t tell you how to live life if you don’t ask or pay me.

So why are so many folks so quick to throw out advice these days? I don’t know. I don’t get it.

If your life isn’t where you want it to be, focus on yourself. Improve a little each day. Get your act together. Then you can give back with advice when prompted.

[Must read: Why you’re always going to be broke.]

What advice do I have for shockingly broke 20-somethings?

I don’t even know. There’s so many ways I can go with this. So many directions. So many tips that are easy to throw out into an article.

My best tips from personal experiences and from observing friends are:

  1. Don’t buy anything you can’t afford.
  2. Figure out why your income sucks.
  3. See where you’re wasting your money.
  4. Work on one problem area at a time.
  5. You don’t have to do anything with your money that you don’t want to.
  6. Always invest in yourself.
  7. Chase your goals relentlessly.
  8. Go after at least one wild dream.
  9. Make lots of mistakes now.
  10. Don’t mix your drinks.

As always, you don’t have to apply every single tip at once. Something from this list has to appeal to you. Bookmark this page so that you come back here when you’re feeling frustrated.

Can you always turn things around?

Yes.

It never matters how badly you screwed up. You can always flip things around in your life. I’ve helped readers get out of debt, quit jobs, plan a trip, and even get a date (not with me!).

I’m constantly struggling with the idea of success and saving money. The problem is that you’re never going to be as successful as you want to be. You’re never going to have as much money as you think you should.

I don’t have a quote for you at this point. I want you to make an effort so that when you return here or when we see each other, you’re not complaining about being broke.

There are a few articles I want you to read…

Motivational quotes don’t pay the bills — Let’s be honest here, posting a quote won’t change anything. You need to read this article right now because the world has enough inspiring quotes. You need to take action because reading another quote won’t help you.

The economics of your love life in your 20s — What’s more important than dating in your 20s? Your love life ties into everything. This will determine what you do, where you live, how much you spend, how motivated you are, and how you feel on a daily basis.

How-to create life-changing opportunities — Stop loitering! There are opportunities all around you. Don’t settle ever.

What’s next?

I want you to sign up for my free email course: 7 steps to financial freedom.

I take you from shockingly broke to satisfied in 7 steps. We cover everything from paying off debt to saving for a trip to curing your boredom.

Stop loitering. Grab our FREE email course. The 7 steps to financial freedom by 30!

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” — Oscar Wilde

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Plan Your Trip

Are you sick and tired of being bored out of your mind all of the time? Do you finally want to see what’s out there?

I love to step outside of my comfort zone. If you want to break free and plan your own adventure, join on board! Oh and that’s me nervously zip-lining through a Mexican forest. I swear I wasn’t terrified. Oh wait, I was!

In mid-2011 I went on a Euro-trip all by myself. A few years before that I didn’t even have the guts to go to the coffee shop or mall alone. I always needed to be with someone. I thought only weirdos went to places alone. Somehow over the years I ended up becoming that weirdo.

How did I end up going on a trip alone?

I became my own travel agent. I started to plan my own adventures. I stepped out of my comfort zone and pushed myself. Now you can become your own travel agent to plan your next epic adventure or just a relaxing trip.

[Quick note: This post was originally published on February 9th of 2013. I’m updating it on November 27th from Buenos Aires. As I started typing I realized that I had already written something similar. So I just added to this post to make it even bigger and better.]

How to Be a Travel Agent

I didn’t use a single travel agent when I spontaneously showed up in Budapest, Hungary or when we explored Miami during Wrestlemania weekend. You don’t need to either. You don’t need to stress about every minor detail. You also don’t need to spend a fortune to leave home. This took me years to figure out.

What’s the simple formula for planning an adventure?

Research where you want to go, figure out when you can/will go, and do everything within your power to make sure that the trip happens.

Let’s break every single step of the process down…

Do the research on where you want to go.

Plan Your Trip

The first step is to write down a list of places you want to visit. What did you have in mind? Is there a place on this planet that you’ve been dreaming about? The good news is that there’s no place too far or impossible to get to. There are flights to almost everywhere.

Next you take 20 minutes to do some quick research. It’s not hard to find information. I can promise you this.

The best option is to check out the forums on Trip Advisor. They have reviews of every possible location, hotel, and attraction. There are also forums where you can ask questions and interact with locals/other vagabonds. I’ve used these forums to find out everything possible about destinations from wi-fi access to beer brands. You can ask any question and have it answered. You can know every tiny detail about the destination before you get there.

I also need to mention that my number one trick when planning any trip is to avoid the tourist traps. You don’t have to go to Ibiza, Spain to party. You can if you have lots of money to blow. Chances are that you want to try something more affordable for one of your first adventures. You just need to book your accommodations.

What about booking the transportation?

Book everything online. I’ve always done everything online and in advance so that I don’t have to stress on my trip. The flight will be the most expensive part of course.

You can search Kayak to get the cost of your flight. We cover this more a little later. For now, you can start tracking flights to see what the prices are like and to track any movement.

You also have to decide on how long you want to be gone for and what you’re planning on doing.

Will this be a relaxing week or a full-blow adventure that goes on for months?

This will play a role in the cost of your flight and stay.

Once you get to your destination, you need to find a place to sleep and keep your stuff.

Where will you stay?

Search Expedia for hotel prices, AirBnB for apartments, or Hostelworld if you’re traveling cheaply and don’t mind staying in hostels (they’re lots of fun!).

Expedia will show you the hotels that are available (a bit pricey). AirBnB features regular folks that rent out a space in their place (affordable). Hostel World is what I used when I was travelling through Europe. It’s very affordable and you can pay in advance with your credit card. You’ll likely meet the most interesting characters at hostels. You just need to be open-minded about the living conditions.

There’s just one problem left…

How can you stay somewhere when you’re a broke joke?

Don’t worry if you don’t have enough money. None of us are millionaires. An empty heart can hold you back, not an empty pocket. There are many folks that have far less money than you that have figured out how to save money for an adventure.

The following resources are perfect if you want to stay somewhere when you have no money:

  • CouchSurfing. The name says it all. This is the best opportunity to step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people. I wrote about this in greater detail when I covered how to travel after college. The other night in Buenos Aires, I met a new friend who had just arrived in town. He spent a few nights in a small village couch surfing and getting to know the culture. His Spanish was way ahead of mine!
  • Global Freeloaders. Ditto. The site is for those that want a free place to crash around the world. Check it out to see if your dream destination is on there.

One final point here…

Does your trip have to be a wild adventure? Not at all. You can plan an excursion to a sporting event. The show below is a picture of me at the first ever UFC event in Toronto.

Plan Your Trip

Figure out when you CAN go.

The next step is to pick when you’re going to go.

When’s the earliest that you can escape?

The longer the trip, the more that you have to plan for it. I would shoot for six months to a year of planning for an extended trip. For a week getaway you need 2-3 months of planning.

You also have to factor in your job and commitments. If you have a stressful job, I doubt that your boss will be happy to find out that next week you plan on attacking Thailand for a month.

A quick story…

It also depends on your life situation. I just met a dude that worked for five years, saved up like mad, and then just quit his job. He has been traveling through Latin America for the past few months and plans on going until he runs out of money. I don’t have the guts to pull this off, but kudos to him.

I’m personally more of a short-term traveler. I could never go away for a few months. I miss my family, friends, gym, and all of that other stuff too much. I like to go away for a few days or a few weeks, have some fun, and then return. I actually really enjoy my life at home.

Let’s get into the key details…

What about booking your flight? 

When do you book? I try to book international flights a few months in advance. However, I searched around to see what other information I could find on this topic.

According to Yahoo Finance:

But if you wait until the day or two before you want to travel, get ready for some serious pocketbook pain. Domestic flights that would normally cost less than $400 jump to about $625.

Ultimately, the booking of your trip will come down to timing.

Can you afford to visit a tourist hot spot in the summer or during a busy season?
Are you willing to go off-season?
Do you have any points that you can redeem for your trip?

Much of booking a flight is common sense. You know what the busy times are. You know that you have to book in advance for a busy season. What are you waiting for?

Another important aspect of figuring out when to go, you also have to gather to troops to see who’s in. Once you have some guaranteed positive responses, you guys can work on agreeing on the time.

The final step is to get the time off from work so that you’re guaranteed the freedom. Your employer or your business contacts will want to know of your absence.

It’s only polite to give them fair warning (and in many cases to ask for permission). This again is common sense. Telling you to book your vacation time is like reminding you to bring your passport. Just a friendly reminder.

Now that you’re so close…

Do everything humanly possible to make the trip happen.

There are going to be a lot of factors at play here. We already covered timing and booking. The only thing left is your money. You need money to make this trip possible. Most of us are horrible at managing money. The good news is that this is a personal finance blog and I love to save up for big purchases.

Get your money right!

This is once again easier said than done. Execution is key. How do you get your money right?

  • Organize your finances. Do you do online banking? Do you have your accounts linked together? I believe in simplifying your finances so that you have easy access to your money and don’t have to stress about being flat broke.
  • Pay off your debt. I just put together an insanely colossal post on paying off debt. The process is simple, but the execution is difficult. I give you all of the tools that you need. The onus is on you now to earn your freedom.
  • Cut back the money that you spend on total crap. We all buy lots of crap. There’s no way around this. How much money do you spend on crap? If you really REALLY want to plan an adventure, you’ll find ways to save money or to cut back. If you don’t truly want to go, you’ll think of excuses. Which will you do?

Start saving slowly!

You need to start saving up slowly.

How much money will you save? How much more do you need for your next trip?

I hope that you consider opening a new savings/checking account so that you have somewhere to put your money while you plan your much-needed trip.

[Easy challenge: Open up a new checking account with Capital One 360. You can create sub-accounts and start planning for your trip.]

As you’re saving up, there are a few more points to consider.

Don’t bail on the trip!

Anxiety is just experiencing failure in advance over and over again for no reason. As your trip gets closer, it’s easy to bail and make excuses. You have to get past the mental barriers that your mind will try to create for you. It’s you vs you.

Don’t listen to the nay-sayers either. They’re just jealous that you have the balls to plan an adventure.

Before my trip to Europe, so many people tried to discourage me. I heard about every possible scenario from being robbed to getting ripped off. I ignored it all. When I came back, those same nay-sayers admitted that they regretted not coming with me.

You have to stay focused on your trip!

Any final thoughts on planning your adventure?

JUST SHOW UP!

Honestly, this is the best travel advice that I could ever give. Just show up.

I stressed about coming to Argentina. I worried about every little detail. Then finally I just booked the flight and a place to stay for a few nights and showed up. In the first two days, I’ve already met amazing friends from South Africa, Brazil, Australia, and Europe that I’ll never forget.

You just have to show up. Everything else will take care of itself.

Meet people.

I’m an odd traveler. I really don’t care for seeing any tourist-style places. I just want to explore the city and meet some cool characters in the process.

Take my word on this.

You don’t have to worry about planning out every detail. You’ll meet some interesting characters on your trips. I’ve had all sorts of plans go right out the window upon arriving at my destination. When I was in Cracow, Poland, some dude told me about a bus that night that was headed towards Budapest. I went online, found a deal, a booked my overnight bus. I saved money because I didn’t have to pay for a place to sleep that night. I found myself in a place I never imaged visiting.

On my first day in Buenos Aires I went to a BJJ class. I had to walk, take a subway, transfer, and then take a bus. Then I had to find the place. When I finally found it, I wished that I hadn’t. The place was filthy and nothing compared to my gym at home. Then I remembered that I wasn’t at home. I joined in on the class and had a hell of a workout.

On the way home, I was lost, so a totally new friend from the class showed me how to get back. Sadly, the subway had shut down and I had to cab it!

Long story short: just meet people. This will make all of your trips memorable.

Go with the flow.

As corny as that catchphrase is, it’s an important mantra for your adventure.

You have to remember that you’re not at home and these are not familiar conditions. You won’t have the same food that you do at home nor will the customs be the same. It’s your job to adapt. The whole culture won’t adapt to you.

What about getting work done on a trip? You can read about my location independent experience where I did my best to be productive on a trip. It’s totally possible to not fall behind on a trip. A few minutes a day on your laptop will help you stay on top of things at home.

What’s next? You’ve got to start planning and saving. Your next (or first) epic adventure is just around the corner.

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“What am I doing here? What did I sign up for?”

That’s all I could ask myself prior to my first pro wrestling match. I really had no clue how I had ended up where I was. Watching it live was fun, but to actually participate was a different animal.

I grew up a fan of pro wrestling. I followed it forever and couldn’t get enough. I even flew down to WrestleMania in Miami in 2012. When I was a kid, I would beg my parents to take me to shows. When I became an adult, I dragged my youngest brother to shows so that it would look like I was taking him.

Now I was finally in a training program. I begrudgingly sold five tickets to the show. I didn’t want to make an ass of myself in front of my family and friends, but I had to sell the tickets to get on the show and to support the gym.

Selling tickets and training was all fun and games. Then the show day came. My nerves were through the roof. I couldn’t even breathe or focus on anything.

Why was I even bothering with this?

I had no clue what I had gotten myself into. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. I was very nervous.

And guess what? Now I self-promote harder than anyone in class to bring fans to the shows so that there’s more people in the crowd! I love performing in front of crowds and I live for that rush.

I’m going to give you a behind the scenes look at the economics of becoming a pro wrestler and the crazy journey that I’ve gotten myself involved in. Please keep in mind that this is a wild dream of mine. I earned my Bachelors of Commerce and was supposed to find a safe job. Instead I decide to travel, start Studenomics, and take on multiple adventures.

The upfront investment is a huge chunk of your time, money, energy and emotions.

The guarantee: NONE.

In September of 2013, I finally got into pro wrestling. A bit later than I expected (25  years old), but I still started! I’ve learned a bit about breaking in and chasing goals since then and wanted to share some experiences here.

[Must read: How-to avoid being another heartbreaking statistic.]

What’s the financial commitment to wrestling?

The first financial commitment is the money you have to spend on training. Getting trained in wrestling isn’t like going to school for any other trade. It’s difficult to find training. You have to hope there’s a school around you or you’re going to have to move to get trained. The cost of that is simply insane.

Luckily for me, the school opened a five minute drive from my place. Well, I had to move back home. I was able to sell my rental property. I now live beside the school where I train in BJJ, pro wrestling, kettlebells, olympic wrestling, and the other classes that are offered.

For the sake of this article I Googled wrestling schools. I found a credible one up in Calgary, Alberta that costs $4,250 for three months worth of training.

That’s only the cost of tuition. You have to fly yourself out there and pay for a place to stay. Not cheap. Then you need to figure out your food situation. Luckily for me, my school charges a very fair monthly rate and I have access to all of the classes and the entire facility.

Pro wrestling training

Then comes the other financial commitments. This is the money that you have to spend on looking like a wrestling.

Common expenses are:

  • Eating more protein to gain size or eating better to lose weight. I’ve always spent a lot of money on food so I can’t really answer this one. I find myself buying tubs of protein and chicken breasts non-stop.
  • Supplements to get in shape. I take a few supplements. I take vitamin D, fish oil, and Zinc. It doesn’t break the bank or anything but the costs add up.
  • Gear. You want to look professional right? I bought elbow pads, knee pads, custom tights, and boots.
  • Tanning. I spend $40 a month on tanning. Yes, I know the risks of cancer.

To be fair, I always tried to eat well and took the same supplements. Wrestling topless in front of people sort of forces you to watch what you eat.

Of course, you don’t have to do any of this. You could look like an average guy/girl and rely on talent. However, if you turn on wrestling on your television, you don’t see too many average folks, do you? You want to stand out and look like a star. Why bother doing something if you won’t even do it right?

Looking like a star isn’t cheap when you’re not a star.

Oh, and you also need to pay for slick professional photos like the one below (yes I tried to look like a complete jerk).

Chasing a dream

What about time?

You have to invest a serious chunk of your time into this venture. Actually, you have to invest every spare second that you have into this.

The time that it takes to get trained will eat up most of your free time. Then once you’re trained, you have to figure out a way to get better. You should try to get on shows (almost impossible).

There’s also plenty of time where you’re networking. It’s advised that you attend as many shows as possible to network, help out, and hope to get yourself a match on the card for experience.

Then you have to spend time on watching/studying matches to get better. At least YouTube has made it easy to find matches.

“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” — Frank Zappa

How about your emotions?

Chasing a dream

You have to give it your all. You have to risk complete failure every single time you step out there. You risk injury. You risk making a fool out of yourself. You risk it all.

You also can’t be a weak person to get into wrestling. You’re going to get tested. You’ll be taken off shows. You’ll be put in spots you can’t handle. The pressure will get to you. And this is all before you even step out in front of a crowd.

The crowd could hate you. They could love you and cheer you.

Then there’s the worst thing that they could possibly do…

The crowd could not give a crap about you. I believe that indifference is the opposite of love. Indifference is the worst feeling in the world. I would much rather be loved or hated. Either one of those are fine.

To become a pro wrestler, you have to risk your emotions every single day. Not easy for everyone.

“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.” — Neil Gaiman

Is it worth it?

Pro wrestling training

Is anything worth it? Is it worth writing about personal finance? Is it worth chasing any dream? Is it worth trying anything?

I would much rather say that I tried and failed. The worst feeling in the world is regret.

If you love something, then go for it. Just don’t think you can slack off. You have to be willing to give it your all.

As always, you should be fairly responsible when chasing a dream. Try not to go into debt, don’t hurt others around you, and stay hungry.

Wrapping it up — how do you make it?

To tie everything in together, I wanted to address a few key questions about wrestling.

How do you move up the ranks? What’s the ultimate goal?

It doesn’t matter what country you live in, the goal is to end up in WWE at WrestleMania.

How do you get there? You have to get scouted and invited down for a tryout. Then they sign you to their training program, where you’ll train until they feel that you’re ready for the main show. Then one day, you might just show up on Monday Night Raw. You’re not even guaranteed to move up from the minor leagues to the main show.

I live in Canada and WWE often tours here. Everyone wants to end up in the big time. There are other companies like TNA and ROH that get TV and some national exposure. They also tour.

WWE is the ultimate goal. Until you get there, you have to work for any minor company that will accept you. You should respect your time with a small company, but never forget that nobody ever grows up wanting to play minor league sports for a living.

How much do you get paid while moving up the ranks?

This all depends. When you’re first starting out, getting a match or even getting on the card is pretty impossible. You have to struggle to work for free and to get that experience. Nobody’s in a hurry to hire you or give you work unless you’ve built up a name. This is similar to any type of freelance work or business that you may try to start.

I’m lucky because my gym/training centre puts on shows. So they put us in the ring. Normally, I wouldn’t have even had a match yet at the point in my training that I’m at.

You’re supposed to pay your dues in wrestling first by working for free and getting the experience. You don’t get paid until you get paid. It’s like starting your own business or any other entrepreneurial venture. You’re essentially a freelancer. You have to go out looking for experience. Once you get experience, you have to build a name for yourself. From there, you have to get noticed. Then, you have to make the right friends and get seen by the right people. You also have to become exceptional at your craft so that if the right person sees you, they like what they see. Talent and connections are a winning formula just like in any other field.

So you won’t get paid until you make it. Since I’m just starting, I can’t speak on getting paid yet since I haven’t earned a penny.

Before we part ways today, I urge you to take on a bold challenge. If you don’t know where to start, you need to get your hands on my newest book, Failure To Launch No More.

Are you ready to launch or chase a bold dream? The book is at 17 five star reviews and the positive feedback has been overwhelming. This book will take you from zero to hero when it comes to launching.

I’m calling you out. Are you going to keep on complaining or will you follow up on your goals? Your move.

Failure to launch no more

“Lacking an external focus, the mind turns inward on itself and creates problems to solve, even if the problems are undefined or unimportant. If you find a focus, an ambitious goal that seems impossible and forces you to grow, these doubts disappear.” — Tim Ferriss

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