The Financial Stud’s Guide to Drinking Without Going Broke

by Martin

“What happened last night?” — said by every single person reading this at least one time.

Here I am writing about all of this serious financial stuff (credit cards, paying off debt, and freelancing), when in real life I enjoy having a great time.

I’m an odd character. I can go months without drinking. Then I’ll hit Europe and drink every day for a month. I really enjoy making money, challenging myself, and having a blast. This is why I wanted to put together the financial stud’s guide to drinking without going totally broke.

If you don’t want to read this article, I put together a video post just for you…

It’s only fair that I put together something on drinking. We already looked at the economics of dating.

What’s the financial stud’s guide to drinking/partying like a rockstar without getting into debt?

The serious stuff first (I have to say it!).

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

Getting drunk can be expensive. Having the time of your life with people that you’ll never forget is exciting.

Getting in trouble will screw you over for a long time. Fighting and driving while drunk are the two stupidest things in the world. You deserve everything that happens to you when you do either of these.

I drink to have fun and laugh. I got to the gym to pump and feel good. I take kickboxing classes for the workout and the thrill. I do NOT ever go looking for fights at bars. The problem is that alcohol changes you. The nicest guys can get rowdy after red bull and vodka shots.

Fighting at a bar is plain stupid. What do you think is going to happen? You’re either going to end up in jail or in the hospital. Pick your poison.

One time I was chatting with a young lady. This guy came up to me and started taking gibberish  I tried to brush him off. He tries to swing at me. He misses. Then the air almost knocked him over because he was so drunk. He could barely stand. Finally the bouncer who has been watching this exchange comes to kick the guy out. An hour later I go to thank the bouncer. He informs me that the guy left the club and got into a fight on the street. Good job stud!

Here are my rules for drinking in general:

  1. Drink with good people. You’ll laugh and own the night.
  2. Hit the gym when you’re pissed off about something. Don’t get drunk and go out. Trouble!
  3. If you’re flat broke, use some creativity and leave the credit card at home. Never spend money that you don’t have on booze.
  4. Always have a ride home. I better not find out that any of you have even thought about drinking and driving. It’s stupid. Always have a way home (or to the place that you’re crashing at). Keep some extra cash in your pocket for cab fare/the bus. Worst case scenario get on the bus for free and tell the driver you have no money left. They’re usually very understanding.

With the serious stuff out of the way, let’s have some fun.

How do you save money before the night even begins?

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” — Winston Churchill

Plan out where the night will begin, end, and where you’ll be doing the main drinking.

Okay that’s easier said than done. For us, the night usually begins at our place because I live with my cousins and everyone comes over. On vacation, the night begins who knows where.

It’s good to know where you’re crashing for obvious reasons.

Predrink.

Once you’ve decided where the night will begin, this is your predrink spot. I suggest that you guys all pitch in and bring some booze/snacks. This will help you save money later because we all know that prices are way too inflated at bars.

At the pre-location, you’ll also actually get a chance to catch up and joke around because the music won’t be at maximum volume and you won’t be that wasted yet.

Avoid holidays and big events.

Who cares about holidays? Seriously. I don’t need an excuse to get wasted and go out. I suggest that you avoid the big events because these are usually loaded with amateurs who barely go out, long lines, and highly marked-up prices. All things that annoy me.

Take money out in advance.

This is key! Actually these are my rules for spending money at the bar:

  1. Never ever rely on your credit card for the bill. You’ll lose track of your spending.
  2. Don’t use the bank machine at the bar. Have you seen what they charge?
  3. Don’t put the bill on your credit card and then collect the cash from everyone. Bad things happen.

Take out cash for the night. That’s your limit. Nothing else. It’s time to recreate the hangover!

How do you not blow your checking account in one night?

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” — Benjamin Franklin

It happens. The drinks are flowing. You get excited. You lose control of your spending. You’re having so much damn fun. You don’t care about anything. You start buying everyone drinks. You get generous. Your checking account is now empty.

Boom, the next day it hits you! You spent your rent and food money on drinks.

How do you avoid this? The only way to financially survive a night out is to bring your spending money with you. Try to leave all of your cards at home. Just keep your ID, your cash, and maybe something else in your pocket.

Never ever rely on willpower when it comes to drinking. You have none. You’re wasted! You’re having too much fun to care about anything. This happens to me all of the time. The other night I broke my own rule. I went out with my debit card because I never went to the bank machine in advance. Guess what happened? I spent a ton of money!

Please, always take out money in advance. That’s your budget for the night.

Oh and there’s one more suggestion…

Go sober. In March I didn’t have one sip of alcohol. I went out sober at least three times a week. I saved tons of money this way. I wouldn’t suggest that you always this, but I would try at least once a week or once every third time you guys go out. It’s a totally different experience. It forces you to man up and not rely on alcohol for you to be able to speak with strangers. The only negative is that you don’t have any excuse for your poor judgment.

What about the next day?

Have you seen The Hangover? I’ve not only seen it but experienced similar mornings dozens of times. You wake up and don’t know where you are. It sucks. Where’s [name withheld] ? What happened to so and so?

The next day can be a huge issue if you’re not ready for it. A hangover is simply a productivity killer. I can barely squeeze out a solid writing session or a workout. It’s not easy though. It’s challenging.

How do you survive the next day? 

I wrote about how getting out of debt is like curing a hangover. This is true. Once you pass the point of no return and drink too much, it’s hard to get back. My best tips to survive the next day are:

  1. Drink water all night. Drink even more water before bed.
  2. Eat a meal before bed.
  3. Take something for headache relief before bed.
  4. Don’t mix.
  5. Stick to one type of booze.
That’s all that I can think of. You have to be proactive or else the next day will be a write-off. We don’t want to let our drinking ruin the whole weekend.

Are you ready to own the night? Go out and get wasted. Have the time of your life. You only have one chance to be young. Dress like the whole world is watching and dance like nobody is.

Are there any other tips for surviving a night out?

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” — Frank Sinatra

{ 1 comment }

Can’t Keep Up? How to Handle Student Loans Before & After College

by Martin

“Student loan debt is leading some borrowers to put off buying a home, saving for retirement or even getting hitched — and many now regret taking out the loans in the first place.”

CNN Money recently published this article on the harsh realities of being in debt because of student loans. The aforementioned quote is a scary truth of what student loans have caused.

Who would have thought that you would have to delay a marriage or home purchase just because you’re still in debt from your education? That totally sucks. Not that I’m a fan of getting married early (far from it), but I feel for those that want to move on with their lives but can’t just because they’re sinking in student loan debt.

It gets even scarier. The article goes on to mention more scary details on student loans hurting those in their 20s…

And debt only continues to grow — exceeding $1 trillion nationwide, with about one in five households carrying student loans. Meanwhile, the average debt load jumped 5% to a new high of $26,600 last year.

That sucks. I hate debt and I’m on a journey to be totally financially secure by 30. I know that most of you are on a similar journey as well. Student loan payments make it virtually impossible to travel the world or do anything cool in your 20s. Screw that!

I’m only one person in this battle against student loans. But guess what? I’m ready to take on this issue and help anyone that’s struggling. There’s no time to waste being in debt. I want to help as many folks as I can with my articles and a select few with one-on-one help (learn more on hiring me).

I’ll keep this article short and sweet. I’ve separated student loans into two stages: before and after college.

Let’s see how you can handle student loans before and after college.

I or someone I know is about to go to college. What do I do?

I wrote about how you can graduate college with zero debt. Yes, it is possible.

You must read that article or share it.

I graduated college with zero debt and I never missed a party I wanted to attend. I had a great time and went away for Spring Break every single year. Everything is totally possible. If a crazy punk like me can do it, what’s stopping you?

How can you pay off student loans while in college?

  1. Apply for a program with work terms.
  2. Work part-time.
  3. Working during the school year.
  4. Apply for free money (bursaries, scholarships, and grants).
It’s totally possible to finish school with no debt.

A quick rant on student loans…

Please do NOT apply for insane amounts of student loans if you’re studying a major that doesn’t have a history of paying well.

It’s noble to study something that interests you and could help the world out. But if the program doesn’t have a history of paying well and doesn’t lead to any sort of guaranteed job, then why get into debt? This makes no sense. It’s just like getting wasted. If you drink and mix a ton of booze, of course you’re going to be hungover. What did you expect to happen?

You should read up on college majors that pay well and guarantee the big bucks. If your major doesn’t guarantee anything, then I strongly recommend not racking up any debt to earn it.

No offence, but if your program is easy and you study a bunch of general crap, why get into thousands of dollars of student debt? How do you plan on paying this off?

Let’s look at the other side of student loans now…

I graduated college and am in huge debt. What the hell do I do?

You can start off by checking out my extensive piece on what to do after college. I received input from experts on the topic. You need to read it.

Then you should check out the only post on student loans you need to read. This will help you figure out what to do next with your student loans.

The process for dealing with student loans is pretty simple…

  • There are no shortcuts here.
  • Get yourself into action.
  • Get a job.
  • Get a few jobs.
  • Start freelancing.
  • Do anything possible to have an income coming in.
  • Then work on reducing your expenses.
  • Then put every freaking penny towards your student loan payments until you’re debt-free.

You can make a sex tape with a celebrity or win a reality show. Do whatever possible to beef up your income so that you have more money to put towards student loans.

That’s all I’m going to say on student loans today.

{ 1 comment }

Habits You Need to Be Building (but likely aren’t)

by Martin

We all dream and wish for the best. We all dream about learning a new language, starting an online business, or just getting better at something simple. We dream and we imagine. We look for answers. Yet we rarely ever take action. We just keep on imagining how much better life would be like. We Google random things and spend hours on Wikipedia.

Today’s not about dreaming. It’s about doing. We conquered our fears last week. This week we’re going to build some habits.

Have you been building any new habits?

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” — Jim Ryun

Have you tried something new lately?

This year I’ve been entering into runs and working on my Spanish.

On May 5th, I did my first 5k run ever. Since it’s Toronto, the temperature was naturally unseasonably high. It was boiling. I was burning up in the sun and finished the run with a tan. The truth was that I struggled with the run. It was way too hot and I wasn’t ready for it. Well, to be fair, I didn’t practise at all. I wanted to prove that if you train your mind, your body will follow.

I was in agonizing pain for the next week. I tweaked my foot. The problem was that I signed up for a 10k run on May 12th.

So May 12th rolls around. This time the temperature was unseasonably cold. It was almost at freezing. It was also very early in the morning. My Sunday morning alarm was at the time that I usually go to sleep on a Saturday night. I don’t know what got into me this time, but I just ran. I managed to finish the 10k in 58 minutes. I never stopped once. Well I did fall down, but I wiped the blood off and got right back up.

My first two runs are now in the books.

Long story short: it’s never too late to work on something new!

As you may know by now, I’m a huge fan of the work of Seth Godin. I love to read all kinds of work and Godin happens to be at the top of this list.

Godin mentions the habits of successful artists in The Icarus Deception…

What habits are common to all of those on cool journeys living life on their own terms?

  • Learn to sell what you’ve made.
  • Say thank you in writing.
  • Speak in public.
  • Fail often.
  • See the world as it is.
  • Make predictions.
  • Teach others.
  • Write daily.
  • Connect others.
  • Lead a tribe.

There are a few things not included that we all do: check Facebook, complaining about your problems, take pictures for Instagram, and getting wasted.

How can you start with building these habits?

Pick one of these habits and stick to it every single day for the next 21 days. No excuses. No sob stories. Just get it done.

If you want to fail often, then try something bold for 21 days straights. If you want to write daily, then write every single day for the next three weeks. Don’t let anything stop you. If you want something bad enough, you’ll do it. If you don’t want it bad enough, you’ll make excuses.

Are you writing? My goal is to write 1,000 words every single day. No excuses. No exceptions. I find that if you get into the habit of writing daily and sharing your work with the world, that it’ll help you with many other habits. Writing leads to connecting, teaching, and so on.

You can also teach somebody something this week. This is easy. You can do this with a friend or on the Internet. Teaching is powerful. It reignites your passion and helps someone else out.

What if it all seems overwhelming?

Well, it probably will because you’ve likely been slacking off the last little bit or confused about what to do next. We all slack and we all need guidance. I get lost all of the time. I just became a Toronto Maple Leafs fan again. I got hooked on the playoff hockey. I thought that the Leafs had the game won. They had a 4-1 lead and they managed to drop it somehow. No more hockey for me. It’s too stressful.

You can start off slowly with building habits.

I recommend that you start by writing daily. This is the easiest thing to start with because we all have plenty of ideas in our heads. It’s time to get them out there to the world.

Connecting others is also easy because you don’t have to be helpful with everyone. You can just connect people who need to know each other.

Failure shouldn’t be overwhelming because it’s easy. Get out there and fail. Fall flat on your face. Laugh it off. Failure gives you permission to try again.

Then you can focus on the other habits on this list as you see fit or any other new habit that you’ve been meaning to form.

What are my habits?

I hate just throwing ideas out there and leaving them there. I take pride in testing out everything before I write about it and share it with the world.

What habits have I built that are worth mentioning?

  • I never miss a workout. No excuses here and my training partners wouldn’t accept them.
  • I write daily. I write every single day. No excuses. It’s midnight on a Saturday night. Instead of drinking or sleeping before my 10k run, I’m working on this article because it’s my first bit of free time today.
  • I always look for the best food option. As often as I can I look for the “healthiest” option. I try to limit the pulled pork poutine to rare occasions.
  • I’ve been working on my Spanish. I do my Spanish lessons every single day. You need to check out Duolingo.

I plan on building more habits over time. That’s all I could think of for now.

One final note on building habits…

The truth is that we all underestimate what can be day on a daily basis and overestimate what can be done in one night.

You won’t get in shape with one workout. But better meals and a few quick workouts during the week, will get you in better shape in no time. Remember that time flies by. Don’t let it pass you by without getting anything done.

What habits will you build?

{ 5 comments }

The Awesome Guide to Deciding What to do After College or in your 20s

by Martin

What to do after college?

I went out of my way to reach out to my friends to see what advice that they had for those that are done college when it comes to finance, career, and life in general. This is the awesome guide to deciding what to do after college.

The time is here. You’re finally done with school. It’s warm out. The patios are open. You don’t have to cram any more. You are free! You can do whatever you want. You can sleep in. You can go to sleep at whatever time you please. You can do whatever you want, how you want to, when you want to. Pretty sweet, huh?

So wait, do you do after college?

  • Are you supposed to apply for the first job that comes your way?
  • Do you travel?
  • Do you just get wasted?
  • Do you find yourself?
  • Do you focus on your debt right away?

So many questions. You’re likely totally confused about what to do after college. This is the first time in your life where you’re actually on your own and responsible for everything. You don’t have any deadlines or any professors breathing down your neck with deadlines. It’s just you. You’re in charge of your life and how you spend your time now.

All I suggest is that you don’t rush or jump into anything too fast.

It’s important that you don’t just accept the first job that comes your way because time flies and that could be your only job forever. You could end up at this job forever. Do you really want that? Likely not. Comfort is a scary thing. It’s easy to get comfortabel at work and stick around.

Then there’s the idea of more education.

There are many alternatives to grad school. Don’t just jump right into school because you’re disenchanted with life at work or can’t find a job. More debt and more credentials isn’t the only route. It can make sense in some situations. However, you can’t run from the real world forever.

What did I do after college?

It’s way too scary how fast time flies. I finished school at the end of 2010. Where did the years go? What did I do?

  1. Travel. I was fortunate enough to find full-time work in college and was able to finish school debt-free. As a result of this, I’ve been traveling. I’ve done many mini-trips of one week beach getaways with friends and even strangers. I also finally went on my first solo adventure to Europe.
  2. Pursue business ventures. I’ve tried all sorts of ventures from consulting to product launches. Check out Start Freelancing Now.
  3. Learn languages. I went to Poland alone to improve my skills here. I can communicate with anyone and my reading comprehension is improving. The next language to tackle is Spanish. It’s slowly going.
  4. Work part-time. I’ve always held a side gig because I love the social aspect of it/it allows helps to have a diverse income just to sleep better at night.

I’ll get into more detail in another article. It’s time to see what the experts had to say.

[Martin's note: If you want to travel, you need to check out my piece on being your own travel agent. If you want to work for yourself, my post on starting an online business is mandatory.]

What did the experts have to say about life after college?

I reached out to my circle of friends to see what wisdom they had to share with college graduates.

Let’s jump into these amazing responses on what you should be doing after college with your finances, career, and life in general…

Todd Tresidder.

If I could do it all over again, one of my first financial goals would be to buy an apartment building on a fully amortizing, fixed rate mortgage while I was still living the apartment lifestyle.

That allows you to deduct all your lifestyle costs as the onsite manager of the building, learn the ropes of running the building while you live there and can actively control costs, and you never experience a setback in lifestyle to do it since you are already living at that level. The amazing thing is that you will be financially independent or darn close with near certainty by your 40’s assuming a 20 year fully amortizing mortgage and you acquire enough units to support your lifestyle (2 or 3 four-plexes or similar). It is a no-brainer wealth strategy for recent graduates.

Check out Financial Mentor for more!

JC Deen.

If you don’t know what you want to do, my advice is to not do what is expected, especially within the American culture, which is usually to get a job, and work the 9-5. If you can, take a vacation (3-4 weeks if possible), and have some experiences.

Maybe get out of the country if you can. Just don’t let yourself get sucked into a boring routine of a job right after school. I understand you may have debts, or a desire to make money, but it can wait. You might learn things about yourself that will help guide your path.

Another option is to go work a job you detest. Being in such an environment might give you some ideas of what you’d rather be doing.

If you have an interest in entrepreneurship, try to go to work at a startup.

I started working for myself after being in a job I hated for 15 months.

If all else fails, don’t do something just because it’s the norm or because others think you should do it. Figure it out for yourself.

Go to JCD Fitness for a no-BS approach to training.

Ryan Guina.

The best advice I can give is to continue living like you are in college, and take your time increasing your standard of living.

I’ve seen a lot of young folks get into trouble with debt because they tried to copy the standard of living they had when they lived with their parents. Unfortunately, many of them didn’t realize it took often their parents twenty years or more to achieve that standard of living. There are no shortcuts, especially if you try to rely on debt to get there!

You can read more at:  The Importance of Delayed Gratification.

Andrea Travillian.

I recommend they do 3 things: invest ASAP, learn to budget, and create a financial and life plan that they then build number 1 and 2 around! Much easier to achieve what you want in life when you plan it out, then build your budget and investments around that plan!

Pinyo.

  1. Pay off debt as soon as you can (when you start off, it’s usually student loans and credit card debt) … get rid of them!.
  2. Start investing as soon as you can. Learn about IRAs and your 401(k) if you have one. Don’t make excuses; just start investing.
  3. Save money. Whether it’s for an emergency fund or for a down payment on your first home, just start saving.
  4. Pursue your passion outside of your day-job. You never know when it could lead to multiple streams of income.
  5. Experiment … especially with business ideas.
  6. Don’t settle.

Check out: How I Went From Debt to 3 Paychecks.

Doug Nordman.

Have you thought about joining the military?Can you keep living like a poor college student when you’re at your first paying job?
Plan to max out your 401(k) match and your IRA every year.

And I should add, be very frugal (stay with your parents if you can). New workers tends to think about how many hours they have to work to spend on stuff — they will almost always spend more money than they should thinking that way.

For more: Will The Military Pay off Your Student Loans?

Mindy Crary.

The most specific piece of advice I give graduates is put off living alone for as long as you can to keep housing costs down–you can rent a really nice room and co-share a home in Seattle easily for $600/month or less and have much more usable living space, in a nicer neighborhood that if you spend $800/month on a studio.

And as much as I LOVE pets, I urge people to put off acquiring furry family. Not only is it harder to find a living situation, but it’s an added expense when you’re trying to launch your career, get a handle on cash flow, etc. THEN I say, track cash flow, save and all of the other great tips the others will add.

Lance Cothern.

My advice? Before you go out spending a ton of money because you landed your first job, wait. Wait until you get at least two paychecks and you realize how much money is left after all of the taxes, deductions and other things that come out.

Then, make a list of priorities in your life. Things like financial security and retirement should be high on that list.

Then, after you’ve hit the essentials, budget in some money for fun and vacations and the like. A lot of your friends will be blowing every dollar they make and more. They’ll regret it in five years when they have nothing to show for it. You can spend some money, but don’t blow it all and have nothing to show for it.

Joel Wegner.

My senior year in undergrad, a professor (a retired finance consultant) gave us his advice on our first 8 financial goals:

  1. Pay Yourself First (Learn to live on 10% of your salary each month and your journey will be much easier).
  2. Start an Emergency Fund (3 months to start).
  3. Pay-off Debt (High Interest Rates).
  4. Invest in a Roth IRA.
  5. Invest in your employer-sponsored retirement plan (enough to be fully vested or 100% of the matching).
  6. Pay off Debt (Low Interest Rates).
  7. Save a downpayment for a house .
  8. Start investing.

Teresa Mears.

  1. Don’t go to graduate school until you have worked a while.
  2. Don’t get married before you’re 30.
  3. Travel and have adventures while you’re young (before you acquire apartment buildings or pets).
  4. Think about where you want to live.

Here’s my other unconventional advice: Unconventional Money Advice For New Grads.

What did the Twitter peeps share?

I also reached out to Twitter to see what you guys thought.

@InvestorJunkie: Stay home as long as you can, but save!

@Liquid_Independ: If possible don’t anchor yourself to one city/location. Chance of landing a job increases if you’re willing to move.

@Yesiamcheap: Don’t move out! Stay with mom and dad and pay student loans off NOW.

@MotherWouldKnow: Stay flexible in your dreams & your outlook. Adapt to changing situations, look at jobs, potential partners w/out preconception

@Jjeffrose: Take inventory of all your Facebook pics. Employers don’t consider handstand holds on a keg a skill on your résumé.

@SimonZhen: Spend as you did before you graduated!

What life/financial/career advice would you give to someone that’s just finishing college? What would you do differently in your 20s?

{ 9 comments }

How You Can Finally Destroy Fear (and stop feeling sorry for yourself)

by Martin

Fear of Failure

“How the hell could you be afraid to approach another human being?” — me yelling at a buddy for being afraid of approaching a girl that he was interested in. Fear is a funny thing. Fear is crippling on your growth if you don’t conquer it.

WTF? Why are we so afraid of everything? We’re afraid to talk. We’re afraid to apply for jobs. We’re afraid to open our mouths. We’re afraid of risks. We just accept crappy jobs. We keep on keeping on. That’s just too lame for me. I’ve come to embrace fear. I try to slap fear around on a daily basis.

I know that you’re tired of fear. I know that you want to slap your fears around and finally conquer them. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading still. You’re tired of always being so afraid. I get it. Fear sucks. Feeling sorry for yourself is pathetic. Seriously.

What are you so afraid of?

We all have different fears. I’ve noticed that fear is often irrational. Some of us are afraid of approaching people we’re attracted to. Some are afraid of deviating from their set schedule. Others just don’t want to get old.

I have an irrational fear of dying. There I said it. It makes no sense. We all die. Yet I’m so afraid of it.

I was also afraid of video blogging for the longest time. What would my friends say? What would the readers say? What if I sounded funny (Canadian accent, eh?)?

Screw everyone. Here’s a video on the topic. Love or hate it, you have to learn to live with it.

Now it’s time for us to overcome fear together if you didn’t feel like watching that video….

How the hell can you finally destroy fear?

Think about the worst case scenario.

What’s the worst that could happen? Seriously? Will it even matter in five years? Will anyone even care by next week? What’s the worst thing can be happen from your fear?

Just like how my friends get over my late-night drunken text messages within a few days, your friends will forget about your failures.

On a different note, what’s the worst that your fears could lead to?

I realize that you can’t be overly logical about most fears. However, with some of our fears, we can easily overcome them by coming to accept that the worst case scenario isn’t all that bad.

What are you really afraid of?

Do. Don’t think.

Analysis paralysis. Information overload. Call it whatever you want. Stop thinking. Stop buying books. Stop researching it. Just do.

You need to take some risks. Stop reading marketing blogs on how to start a site. Just start one. Stop reading about how to work out. Go to the gym and push some weights around. Stop searching for answers on how to learn a language and just get your hands on a program.

Stop thinking about everything! I should be in jail. I’ve done plenty of stupid things. It’s okay though. I believe that we all should get into the habit of doing. It’s better to do than to think. When you’re taking action you’re too busy to even think about your fears.

But wait Martin, what if things don’t work out? I’m glad you asked…

Embrace failure.

Most of us are just afraid of failure. What if we attempt to conquer our fears and we fail?

I embarrass myself all of the time. I go for girls that I don’t deserve. I met my last girlfriend by telling her she looked like my previous girlfriend. There’s no resemblance! We laugh about it to this day. I just needed an icebreaker.

I talk the most trash out of all of my friends. I don’t care if I fail at something. I just laugh it off and try again. Failure gives you permission to try again.

What’s worse than failure? Regret!

With that being said…

Think of how horrible regret is.

Man I hate regretting things. I know that it’s common in society to say that we have no regrets or no mistakes. That’s all crap. We’re all loaded with regrets. We all wish we did more. We all wish we took more risks. We all wish we asked someone else to prom. We all have plenty of regrets.

  • What if I started my site sooner?
  • What if I pursued that other degree?
  • What if I started working out sooner?

So many “what ifs.”

We all know how excruciatingly painful regret is. Why torture ourselves like this? Stop living with regrets.

Imagine how horrible regret is. List all of your regrets on a piece of paper. Are they worth it? Imagine you had taken action?

What if your action didn’t result in what you wanted?

Let go of what you can’t control.

We are all far too attached to outcomes and things that we can’t control. Some things are just out of your reach. Actually, many things are out of our control.

I got over my fear of dying by realizing that I need to let go of the things that I can’t control. When my time comes, it comes. Regardless of your religious beliefs or views, it’s fair to agree that death for the most part is out of our control. I mean all I can do is stay as healthy as possible, avoid drugs, and doing stupid things. The rest is out of my reach. If I get run off the road by a truck, I mean well, what can I do?

Check out my extensive piece on how to live forever and join me! Okay, enough about death. Yikes!

I want you to let go of what you can’t control. Every single person won’t like you. You won’t always succeed. You won’t always be the best. Stop being so afraid.

A quick story on overcoming fear…

This past Sunday I participated in my first run. I signed up for a 5k charity run in Toronto. I had zero practise and zero training. I knew that I always wanted to do something different. I had been meaning to sign up for this 5k run for the past few years. I just never did it. This year I signed up in advance so that I would go without any excuses. Plus, when you pay for something, you sort of have to go.

What happened? I showed up at noon and noticed that the sun was scorching hot. It was the warmest I’ve ever felt at the beginning of May in Toronto. Oh well. I ran.

When I noticed the 1k mark I felt amazing. I was doing well and well ahead of a majority of the group. Then the pain hit me! My back hurt. My shoulders were killing. My body gave up on me at the 2k mark. I walked for a bit. Then I jogged. Then it felt like the 4k mark would never come. It finally did. I walked for a bit. Then I saw all of the people cheering. I couldn’t stop at that point. So I somehow mustered the power to cross the finish line.

I ended up chugging as much gatorade and water as possible. I finished 5k in 27 minutes. Not bad for someone with literally zero training.

This Sunday I have the 10k run. I hope that my legs feel better by then because I’m in a ton of pain. I didn’t realize how tough running could be.

[Random note from Martin: I ensured that I did ZERO research for this article. I wanted this to be as authentic as possible. This was about my journey to overcome fear and to slap it around. Will you create your own journey? Will you finally destroy fear?]

P.S. What are you afraid of? I’m afraid of time passing me by. I hate the feeling of growing older and wondering where the time is going. I wish that I could freeze time. I want to be young forever.

(photo credit: pierodemarchis)

{ 5 comments }

← Previous Entries

WordPress Admin