“I like you as a friend.”
This statement will ruin your finances right now. This statement will also naturally ruin your love life.
I firmly believe that college students, young professionals, and 20-somethings are damaging their bank accounts on a daily basis by living life in the friend zone.
What’s the friend zone? According to Wikipedia:
“In popular culture, friend zone refers to a platonic relationship wherein one person, most commonly a man, wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It’s generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person.”
We talk about financial freedom on Studenomics. We’ve covered some deep details. We’ve also discussed the economics of your love life because the reality is that you’re going to fall in love in your 20s. Most personal finance authors are married and boring. I’m neither of those things.
I’m fairly realistic. Odds are that we’re all going to get married one day. I’m willing to accept that. Until we get there, we need to get a hold of our finances so that we can reach our goals. We also need to have as much fun as possible before it all ends.
If you’re single, you’ve dealt with being in the friend zone.
You know how the story goes. You tell a girl you like her after waiting around forever. She responds with, “I like you as a friend.” Ouch! You feel stupid for not making a move sooner or for not being bold enough with your intentions.
Why are you in the friend zone?
- Time. You waited too long to tell this person how you felt or to make a move.
- You followed the rules.
- You didn’t change anything about yourself.
- You’re not a closer. You’re a poser.
- General fear.
- Comfort zone.
- Lack of audacity.
- Fear of failure.
- You listened to the wrong people.
- You’re a slacker.
- You think that hope is a game plan.
You’re here at Studenomics because you want a different life. I’m not trying to put you down for your past mistakes. I want to help you get out of debt while you simultaneously blast out of the friend zone and improve your life.
Why will the friend zone ruin your finances?
There are actually a million reasons (I counted) for why living life in the friend zone will ruin your finances. The obvious reason is that you’re love sick and mad at the world. This is a horrible way to live your life. Nobody wants to be around you because the smallest things force you to snap.
The main reasons that the friend zone will ruin your life are:
- You have no focus.
- You’re not confident.
- You don’t go after what you want.
- You’re a backup plan.
- You can’t sell yourself.
- You spend your money foolishly because you’re angry.
- You lose out on opportunities to make big money because you’re afraid of launching.
- You’re not in control of your life.
- You let others dictate the pace.
Why would you want to shoot yourself in the foot with your own gun?
How do you get out of the friend zone?
The friend zone is just like debt. You need to avoid it from the start. Once you get in, you’re stuck for a LONG time. From there, everything could get even worse if you don’t have a plan. Since I don’t want to make you feel any worse, let’s move on.
The steps (in no particular order) for getting out of the friend zone go like:
- Avoid the friend zone.
- Have a game plan.
- Let your intentions be known.
- Ruthlessly go after what you want (career, love, business, and goals).
- Be bold.
- Risk failure.
- Learn from your failures and move on.
- Ignore all distractions.
- Fail constantly.
- Never let failure get to your heart. Never let success get to your head.
If you can’t ask out the person you’re crazy about, how do you plan on paying off debt or finding a freelancing client? How are you ever going to get a raise if you can’t convey how you feel? Do you think you can be financially free by 30 if you can’t even get a date?
Help Martin! I want to escape the friend zone desperately.
I’ve done something that I never thought I would do. I wrote a book on dating. I wrote the book that you need on escaping the friend zone. After finishing this article in March I made a bet with a buddy that I could write a whole book on the friend zone. And I did it!
The best part? The ladies love this book as much as the guys do. Check out this review from Gursharan:
“Such a fun read by way of storytelling that delivers the hard truth when it comes to the friend zone and what women look for in a man. After reading this, I finally understand (hopefully other women will too) what a guy has to go through to pursue and show interest in a girl and date her without fear of rejection- or what guys experience once they’ve been friend-zoned and what they can do about it. Anyone who is struggling to get out of the friend zone or has been there before will benefit from this read. This book will motivate and show you how to take control and avoid living with regret, not only in your love life but in other aspects of your life that will force you to go after what you want and who you want. Overcoming your fears and taking risks in life (including your love life!) will always be better than inaction and simply relying on hope as a game plan.”
How will this book help you?
- You can now become the most interesting man in the world.
- You’ll see how to use social media to your advantage.
- You can read my personal stories of success and failure.
- You’ll figure out how to be a closer.
- You’re going to become a new person.
- You’ll finally launch.
- I won’t let you make any excuses.
If you think your love life doesn’t impact your finances, then you’re only trying to fool yourself.
“If you can embrace the idea that your success and happiness are tied up in defeating the fear that’s holding you back, you’re 90 percent of the way to where you need to go, because no, we’re not kids, and no, this is not a bike.” — Seth Godin